Christmas

Okay, so today was the day when we all went round to V's to give each other our Christmas Presents. And to be honest, I have really been looking forward to it because all of my friends have been winding me up- they know how to drive me crazy they really do. See they all knew what I had gotten because O, V and R had all chipped in to get me something.

So the time finally arrived, and I had no idea what to expect.

You'll never guess what they had gotten.

Well okay, I'll tell you.

First I was made to open A's present... and inside I found. A PANDORA CHAIN!

I know!

So I was like... what... huh???! Then it twigged what the others had gotten me.

So I hurriedly went to confirm my thoughts and I was right! They had chipped in to buy me a charm for my new bracelet! It is sooooo cute! It's a little silver hedgehog, complete with little adorable feet too!!!

I will treasure this present, and I'm going to keep building it up obviously. So, if anyone is stuck what to get me for future presents, PANDORA CHARMS!!!

Hey, as a treat, I might even do a post with pictures!

Xxxx

The Last week.

Oh. My. God.

That was an EXTREMELY busy and exhausting week. Not to mention I think I am getting a cold- not impressed. I've been coughing for about five weeks straight I swear. I've had a sore throat all week too. It is not good.

Okay, where to start. Oh, thew Christmas concert on Tuesday. It was actually really good, I love every minute of it. Even the band acts pulled it off better than in rehearsals! The crowd reacted really well with the song I performed with Charles (American Pie), started clapping along too! I was really pleased and I am so glad that I made myself go through with it, even if my throat felt like sandpaper.

Next the Christmas party, my goodness it was extremely different from what I expected, but It was still amazingly good! We got to the bus park (A, O and me) to find that almost everyone was drunk, typical. Some people had even managed to get so drunk they were being sick, baring in mind that this was at 8:15 ish!

Anyway, we got onto the bus (finally) and the bus driver was really scary! He was shouting at all the drunk year 13s whilst driving! Me and A swore he was going to swerve as he wasn't paying full attention to the road. But still, we got there in one piece (well most of us, he chucked off two people on the way, literally at the side of the road).

Well we got there and had an amazing night, me and A got really into the music and I think we danced the most out of all of our group! And A does NOT dance. I think I enjoyed it as much as I did partly due to him. Because he was into it, I wasn't scared to get into it myself. You know, he even sang along, (I love you)!!!!!!

The next day was funny though, all the people who had been really drunk that night hadn't come in and everyone who came in were knackered. I fell asleep... hehe.

Friday we went to the church with school. The choir sang four songs, one of them being 'For The Beauty Of The Earth' from Chamber choir which means singing really high. I tell you, this week has not helped my throat at all!

Anyway, I think that's it for now. I'll do an outfit post soon of my Christmas party dress!

Xxxx

Party Time!

Sorry for the non-blog posting period. It's been so frantic recently! I've been bombarded by homework and coursework and music work and practice time and rehearsals.

Urghh!

I've recently done my Grade 3 Piano and it went really badly! But oh well theres still a possibility that I've passed. I've also done a Choir Competition with the school 'Chamber Choir'. We came 'fourth'. Lol, yes we made that bit up but shhh, no one knows!

Next week is going to be good. There's the Christmas concert on Tuesday, which means the full day off lessons and Rach is coming round. And then the next day is the Christmas Party at Liquid. Then on the Friday we're going to church as a school.

Next Top Model 2011

Hey guys, I saw this advertised and well I thought someone out there might be interested in it. Basically a photography company based in Macclesfield are looking for volunteers to take part in a free fashion shoot, in which a person has the chance to win an on-location photo shoot and products that are equivalent to £1000!!

All the information you need is provide on the site, click here to visit it now!

Enjoy!!!

When and Where?

Monday, 15 November 2010 to Monday, 31 January 2011

Anjurad Photo Studio based in Macclesfield Town Centre

Xxx

Coat post :P

Okay, so I bought a new coat Monday after school and I love it. I've worn it all week!!! Soo he's the best attempt at a picture I could take... It isn't all the coat I know but I will try and take some good ones of the full coat.

Also these boots, lovely lovely boots, that I ordered half way through August have FINALLY arrived!!!! I adore them :P They're going to be so comfy I can already tell! Here are a few pics, tell me what you think!

Tell me what you think! The coat is £50 from Dorothy Perkins and the shoes were/are £89 from La Redoute. Oh but the good news is instead of £89 we got them for £62!!!

Xxxx

Dedicated to Aly

Just a note to dear Aly, a friend close to my heart: I love you :)

Quote of the day (Provided by R): 'Why when its piddling it down with rain are you still wearing a skirt?!?!?!

'.........................

It looks better with boots...'

God You do make me laugh Aly :)

Xxxx

P.s check out her blog: http://faith-in-fashion.blogspot.com/

It's amazing!!!

New buy! :D

I have been so dragged down with events and homework so I haven't been able to post recently, I apologize.

So to say sorry I am going to post a few photos for you. Consider it an 'outfit post' as said by the fashion bloggers.

Also here are a few photo's of a bracelet I bought yesterday and the ring my Nana gave me a couple of weeks ago :)

What do ya think? It was £3 from Dorothy Perkins, but I got it for £2.70 due to a STUDENT DISCOUNT card :P

Anyway, onto what I have been up to. As you all know it has just been bonfire night, oh and what a blast!

On Friday night I went to The Swettenham Arms and met up with A and R to watch their fireworks- A recommended event because there was nice food and it was cheap at only £2 entry fee. Good fireworks too! Although lets hope it doesn't rain near to the event next time as it made it hard to light the bonfire- a poor attempt guys, petrol doesn't help to light wet wood!

Then last night (Saturday) I went to the Congleton Park firework display, also at a good price for only £4 (Yay for still being at school!) This was so much fun because it was the whole five of us! The fireworks were really cool (my favorites are the big bang ones and the fizzly ones! But I spent so much money yesterday; my bracelet, sweeties (gummy bears, chocolate raisins and milky stars!) and a portion of chips :) But it was good fun so I don't care.

It's great because A has this amazing ability to make the night just that much better; squeezing my hand; hugs whilst fireworks are being let off; the kisses, even just the knowledge of him standing right beside me.

Yes, so I act like a two year old occasionally, but he doesn't mind. He likes me, just being me. For that I congratulate him, not many people have the will to be around me for as long as he has been. I love you :D

Well I'm afraid that's it from me, I have nothing left to prattle on about, maybe sometime soon I will!

Xxxx

Fun fun fun!

Sorry for not coming to talk to you dear blog, but really I haven't had anything I wanted to talk about. I guess I'm really just a very uninteresting and boring person.

Yes you are...

Okay okay, quit laughing at me.

You know, I think I should give you a name, I mean the word blog isn't a name. What do you think??

No I am not calling you cherry, thats just not right. No silly names! Shut up, I'll decide.

How about Aliza? I think it means joyful... You like it? Thats good then.

Okay, Aliza. You know if there are people reading this, they will think I'm mad.

You are mad

Right, great, okay. Well I blame too much homework. Right now as I write this I need to finish off assignment two for Child Care which is in for Tuesday, but seeing as I am such an idiot I haven't saved the copy onto my memory stick. I didn't realise it was for Tuesday, Miss Taylor said Friday!! So that means tomorrow is gonig to be busy, luckily I have a double free.

I should be getting my remark of the English paper back soon. Hopefuly I get the A this time huh. I still haven't told my mum about sending it off... woops.

Going back to London soon to, the 9th! Seeing Flashdance which should be good. Get more piccy's too, they could come in handy for something...

I haven't done anything on my scrapbook for a while either, maybe I will do some once I'vefinished my homework load.

Well as you can see Aliza, I actually have nothing interesting to say, and I am only writing this because I can't be arsed to get up... Well I'm off.

Have fun!

Xxxx

Happy Birthday

This is a birthday greeting that is going out to R :)

Happy birthday dude, hope it's a good un!

'For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fel....' Yeh I know dear blog I hate that song too

Xxxxx

Dear R:

R, you should stop reading my blog because you are now teasing me about it. Yes I speak my mind.

But meh it's my blog so I can do what I like!

Hmmphh, people these days.

Can you believe him my dear blog, traipsing round you like an untrained dog, making his mark. Yes I know, let's hope he doesn't have some of the more disgusting habits dogs have inherited.

There there dear blog, it's going to be ok.

Xx

Banner

Oh if I do actually have any sad people who read this any comments on the new banner are very much appreciated :D Xxx

School and results

Okay, so I forgot to post how my results were, leave me alone. I remember within the week, but then I have been so busy trying to keep on top of all of my work I completely did not have the time to write a new post. All this A level work is tiring me out and so far it has only been a week!!!

God help me :P

Anyway here is a complete copy of my GCSE results, just so you know, my dear blog:

Maths: B
English lit: B
English Lang: C
Science: A* & B
RE: B
Music: A
French: B
Catering: A
Child Development: Distinction * (A* x2)
Musical Theatre: Merit

So yeah, a pretty good bundle I thought.

Anyway, sixth form. I am absolutely loving it. I love the classes, I love the work, I love the free periods, I love the common room (even if silly little boys put up nudity pics in it- you ignore those), I love having a cafe accessible at all times. I don't even mind having all the homework... much.

I've even made some new friends too! There is B, the headteachers daughter LOL and R who sits next to me in Ms Bently's Chem lessons.

So the subjects I'm most looking forward too?
Music and Photography obvs.

The subjects I think I will struggle in?
Chemistry. But I will have to hang on in there, I'll do it for A.

Plus Chem will tick the 'clever' box for me- if I do well obvs ahahaa.

Well that's about it for now I think. Until next time!!

Xxxx

Results Eve

So my months and months of laziness are almost up and sadly I have but two weeks left untill I must return to school. But the more incredibly news that you much hear of is abotu the state of my nerves.Oh yes the time has come, yup you know what I mean.

GCSE results time

Scaaaarrrryyyyyyyy!!!!!

Ahahaha so as per usual I have tuned my mostwitty side of me to converse with you, my dear blog. So your most blogginess why don't you wish us good luck and keep your fingers crossed for little ol' me hey?

Hehh I gathered you would say that.

No it's fine.

No worries.

But on the bright side of things I will be able to see if all that hard work has payed off, prove to my Dad that I happen to be a little bit clever and make him stop calling me a dunce hehee. That and I can finally assure to myself thatI will be able to get into those A level courses I want, or not...

The yearbook too, we should be getting those tomorrow, that will be a right laugh. I hope the pictures that I put forward ended up in there, fingers crossed... again!

Well that all folks untill next time (hopefully tomorrow night where I spill my GCSE results... or not if they're bad hehe)

RANT

ARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH





GRRRRRR



RAWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR




aerg hoihwuregvbhssgbiuhfoubihsrgbihsrghw]hgitfghsklrnvklxfbnkslrtbn;oih


Ahhhh that felt good.


Xx

The Hollidays

So Billy Elliot has finished and it was absalutly amazing. You know, I had promised my self I wouldn't cry because it wasn't as if I was part of any of the sad parts. But you know me huh. I was fine up untill I walked on stage to do that finalle dance. Then as I was walking on stage I thought- no, this is the end. The last dance of the last show.

That was all it took.

Crying like a baby I danced the finalle dance, trying to smile through my tears. But then came the speaches- oh was I crying then! First Em and Jodie giving out the gifts to the teachers etc. And then the teachers saying farwell to some sixformers whom where leaving (Steven and Tim- I had just managed to stop crying and she called out their names. God dammit).

But wasn't it good?

I enjoyed every second of it. I will look back on that and remember it for as long as I bloody well can. The friendships I had made during it. And the old friendship that were renewed. Rob for example, we had made friends playing guitar when he had first come to this school in year seven and I was in year nine. But we hadn't really spoken for a year, so it was nice to hang out with him again.

You know I even lost weight and at least two inches of my waist!

Well, without Billy Elliot I have been lost for things to do; spending most of my time either eating, sleeping or watching films such as Lord of the Rings or old Doctor Who episodes (I just finished all the ones with Chrisopher). But no worries because I don't mind my endless time-wasting. Because it is ever so slowly creeping towards that time when I am going on holliday.

Wales here I come!!!

Yes, it is the holiday when A and O are coming to meet me. Might I just sssay I cannot wait!! It will be absolutely amazing. Them camping, me in an A-frame house minutes away, next to the beach, free to do what ever we like.

Should be pretty darn awsome.

But alas, it is not here yet. So I must waste my days untill that Saturday arrives. Except I mustn't miss out my Thursday either. The day R pays me a visit.

Yes him, the techie guy ;)

However that day isn't here yet either.

So I will say farwell to you, my dear blog. Untill next time, after I have done something fairly interesting so I can show to you I have broken this chain of doing nothing.

Bye bye for now xxxxxxx

Billy Elliot

.


Two nights down- two more to go. And might I just say I am loving it!! It is the best atmosphere (not to mention exercise) ever. The first night went pretty well... but in Solidarity when we climbed up the stage blocks I slipped and said 'shit'. Yeah, I was wearing a mic too- a turned on mic... But , the guy who does the sound and whom was monitoring it all didn't hear it so I'm guessing it all went OK. Most of the cast heard but the few of the audience who I questioned after didn't. All is good.Oh and when we switch hats with the miners, my mic was tangled up so I just had to pass him the mic... But oh well. Sorted that now!!

I love doing Billy Elliot, and my only regret I am having is that I keep thinking, 'Why did I never do any of the other shows?' I know I did High School Musical, but what about the other three??? I wish I had done them- even if I couldn't have done all the nights being away and everything.

Thursday went perfect. I managed to enter stage at the right time and got all my costumes sorted quickly.Only thing that went wrong was that in 'This and This' the scene before I am in a boiler's suit and I have three seconds, literally, to get out of it, when I did it last night the mic pack got caught in my boilers suit and so yanked off. Luckily Hannah was stood next to me so shoved it into my pocket whilst I clipped it back on- Life saver!!!

I just hope the next two days go smoothly and I hope R and O don't get to stressed doing all the sound and the lights.

Oh yes, that's another thing I can talk to you about.

R and O.
Year nine.
14 years old.

Speciality- Being absolute genius's and knowing how to do all the sound and writing the light run.

R:

• Knows the first 50 or so decimal places of 'pie'.
• Studies such subjects as Einstein's theory of relativity in his spare time.
• Not only is a technical whiz but can also play guitar and bass.
• Knows very long words and loves to catch people out by using them.
• Is well known for having a good sense of humour and being very kind.
• Is incredibly strong and who can push around girls from year eleven... -.-
• Always has lots of money which because of his kind nature lends out.
• Loves to eat Original Curry pot noodles.
• Has very long hair giving him the ridiculous nickname of 'Jesus' which he hates.

O:

• Has the ability to write a whole light run for an hour and a half performance.
• Can re-wire a plug in a matter of minutes.
• Originally studied in Quinta which automatically makes him cool.
• Again has a great sense of humour and loves 'Mock of the Week'.
• Is also incredibly strong and likes to show off by carrying big heavy stage lights.
• Has an obsesion with smashing light bulbs.
• Not only is a technical whiz but also has a nack for playing drums.
• Has incredibly good taste in music.
• Doesn't really talk much.
• Loves eating chicken super noodles.

Ahahahhaa
Yes funny stuff there- my little biography of the techies!!! Lol!!! And that is it from me, thank you, good night!

xx

Prom and Billy Elliot

Okay, So I haven't written anything in a while. I appoligise.

I leadwhat seems to be a busy life- espesially at the moment. I am being swamped with Billy Elliot rehersals. As much as I do love and and adore acting and dancing and singling and being with other people with the same feelings- It is taking me away from my socail life and my boyfriend. He who I have not seen since Friday night- Prom.

I will talk about prom. But later.

For now I need to have a rant. I feel that if I hadn't had Billy Elliot rehersals today I could have stopped what is potentially a huge argument. I say potentailly because he doesn't know that I am pissed off and dissapointed with him. You want to know the story? Of course you do, how silly of me.

Well it all started with an innocent text- yes don't they all. However this time... You know forget it.

He is arguing with me again.

Apparently I have been off with him and he can't be bothered to get up for me. Funny isn't it. I was thinking exactly the same thing about him. The amount of times I have tried to speak to him, or meet with him. Uncountable.

Ruin.
Ruin.
Ruin.

That's what it will be.

That's what I will be.

Okay, I can't talk about prom. Not now.

R.I.P Birdy

I tried to save her. I really did.

Dug up lovely worms, even cut them up and found a way of feeding them to her properly (meaning getting her able to swallow them by acting like the parent bird and shoving it down the birds throat but hey) but...

Made her a nest out of an old rag and kitchen paper.

But mum was right, something must have been up with it.

and just as I thought it was doing much better.

I mean I managed to feed it two worms!!! That's more than it had eaten since we found it.

Maybe I shouldn't have left it. It might have been fine if I didn't leave it out under the hedge whilst we took Nana back home. I should have known it would have started raining and it might have been too cold for it. But then... how should I have know when we came back it would be dying. How should I have known that when we came back it would be so weak it couldn't even hold itself on its front anymore...

Such a sad sight you know. A bird lying on it's side; it's legs stuck out in front.

It tried to eat more, but it didn't even have the strength to peck at the worm, or to close it's beak and swallow it.

I had let dad help him.

I mean, humanly no?

Didn't I?












Doesn't mean I don't feel bad though.











Doesn't mean I didn't weep.

London!

I am back from being in London for two days. It was amazingly good!

I saw Billy Elliot the Musical for the third time- yes the third. I recomend it to anyone and everyone, I think it is amazing, and even my dad who hates musicals thoguht it was really good. I got a Billy Elliot hoody because I am sad. Its black ;) And it's very good quality; all soft and furry on the inside and all nice and soft on the outside. It's also very warm -stop it your rambling-

We did a lot of walking though, and a lot of traveling on the underground. I also had my first taster of the subway and I had a panic attack and almost cried. Well done me!! God I can be such a baby. But it was all stuffy and claustrophobic and crowded and it went on and on and I had just gotten of the underground and I needed fresh air and I didn't like it. So I think I had a valid reason. I also didn't cry on the underground train or anything... course not, don't be silly. Ok I had a valid reason then two!! Well we had just gotten from one train to the other, and it was too stuffy again, and dad was saying that it was going to break down and we would be stuck there and I allready thought I would be stuck there because it was going on and on and it was dead clautstrophobic and there was a lot of people and I was being jostled by the train going so fast and I needed fresh air and I wanted to get off and I didn't like it. So ha!

Oh yehhh << My new ssaying by the way. Not by choice. Just because I say it too much.

Oh I also bought this really nice top... not that you care my dear blog.

Oh lastly I went round the Tate Modern and say some really cool pieces of art. And then some not so cool piece of 'art'. There was a picaso piece there to!! It was really good!

Anywho, I shall stop boring you my old friend.

Long time. No post.

Well yes, so what. I haven't had anything to vent to you my dear blog. Not a single thing important or exciting has really happened recently- I know, hard to believe with my awsomeness. Well... I could have posted after each exam I have had, telling you how amazing I did, but that would be lying and very boring. So I decided against it.

But alas I DO have something to say. Be it witty and amazing, well I don't know. But my dear blog, since you are in essence, me, then you should... no SHALL find it incredibly spectacular.

I am creating works of art.

Oh yes.

First it was this blog. You to be correct, my dear blog, oh one who listens (or at least doesn't have a choice but to listen).

Then I started to draw little pictures here and there.

Now I have decided to create a scrapbook. Within it shall be my life. Just like you are my little secret keeper. This scrapbook shall take me forever. Documenting my thoughts and feeling. Telling the story of me growing up.

Oh yes. Im deep.

I told you, didn't I! Incredible.

No, no need. I know what you are thinking.

Because, in essence, I am you.

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

Well my birthday actually turned out better than expected if I am honest. So I was imagining a horrible day doing hard school work and everyone so up tight about exams next week. But in retrospect I didn't really do any... well I did nothing all day!! Maths we had a sub so we spent the whole lesson chatting, taking pictures and signing each others shirts- writing good luck and stuff. Then we had chemistry in which we had a little quiz... again not really work. Then I had Child Development in which we had another sub, so I spent that lesson eating Oreo's, signing shirts, taking photo's and chatting again. Then we had English where we spent the first part of the lesson chatting and signing shirts and the second parts doing a fun quiz. Finally we have Physics where Mr. B didn't mind us doing nothing for the lesson!!! He EVEN signed every one's shirts!!!

So a very fun day.

And A, bless him, got me THE best present. Ipod speakers and this little arrow which you pull the arrow head off and there is a little message inside (that he wrote obviously)!! How cute?!! I'm going to keep it forever and ever.

Got from my parents: three books (none of them Derek Landy's fourth Skulduggery-Sadly!!) and the Avatar DVD- extremely happy about that. And finally some converse which are VERY nice.

From my Aunt and Uncle I got a necklace with a shiny, sparkly blue pendant on with matching earrings.

From O I got chocolates.

From V AND R I got a pocket mirror. I know, it doesn't sound like much. But it is a fancy mirror.

I am now officially sixteen.

No more lying about my date of birth so I can sneak into movies. No more jokes about under-aged sex can be made. No more jokes from my dad saying weird stuff about me.

Aaahhhh.

I got to eat cake and chinese too!!

A job well done.

xxx

The Waking Owls

Gracefully, gracefully they glide,
Gently beating the air,
Enticing it to their will.

Peacefully, peacefully they fly,
Politely hooting their cares,
Greeting their dark-eyed morning.

Hourly, hourly the dive,
Teams of skilled gatheres,
Fiercely feeding the flocked youn.

Slowly, slowly the spy,
Their creeping glow of night,
Lay their heads, the world awakes.

Prom Dress!!

So, I went for my fitting.



And O.M.G!! I had so forgotten what it was like, totaly took my breath away.

I cannot wait for it to be prom, I am absalutley loving it! You know, being on prom commitee, organising it all, making sure things go to plan, having a say on what to do. Also getting to hang out with a different set of people, people who won't judge or tease me if I say something because we aren't yet friendly enough.

Haha yes, I'm sad.

It's nearly my birthday.

The joys. Being woken up early by my brother just so he can say happy birthday. The attention and people forcing me to accept gifts. Organising to do something and knowing that my 'party' involves only two of my friends- two whom cannot possibly come out because of the exams leering oh so closley.

Yes. Fun I hear you say.

I'd prefer just to be whisked away by A and sit in a field all day together. In the sun of course.

But can't do much but moan.

And that doens't help.

Boring News

There isn't realy a lot to talk about.

Hasn't been for a while. Though I could have written about my French speaking test. But that post would have been a boring one. Though I could have bragged that I have completed 50% of my Frnehc GCSE now. I could have also bragged about the fact I have completed my whole Child Development course now too. Thoguh that would also have been boring. And it isn't like me to brag about such things such as Mrs. McN saying my speaking was at least an A grade at minimal or anything like that.

Though I suppose I can brag about the fact that I had an amazing day yesterday with A :D Watched Doctor Who being hugged- best thing ever- and then had an amazingly nice tea of curry which surprisingly I had a craving for- wired or what? And then had a good snuggle time haha, I lovee me some snuggle time :D

I should be revising... my exams are in two weeks time. But I just can't seem to do anything. They are looming up and I just shrug and turn my back. I know- Im an idiot. I got into the habit of revising for my French speaking, but now that is over I haven't even picked up any of my revision guides- let alone thought about doing anything involving revision. But in my defence I have completed a lot of deadlines this passed week. My Child Development course for example and the Music stuff. Not to mention that this blog could be counted as English revision- it is helping me practise writing for the essays (far fetched I know but let me have it).Well at least I am almost confident that I will get at least a C. I never have been good at revising but I always seem to get an all right grade.

It doesn't help that my Sixteenth is coming up as well. I mean I remember planning in year seven or eight or when ever it was to have a massive party. We all did, all of us lot from Quinta. All planning to have DJ's and buffets and some of the more strange people planning to lose their virginity's on the night- sad people.

However, the times or me being part of that big massive friendship group has passed and now the only people who I think even want to do something for my birthday are A and O. V and R will be 'revising' and of course this means they can't possibly come out, or if they wanted to their parents 'wouldn't let them'. Nice huh, my so called best mate not willing to take one day away from her revision to celebrate a birthday.

It doesn't matter. I realised that there wouldn't be much fuss this birthday when I figured out it was so close to exams. As well as the fact that I haven't really done out for any other birthday- a family BBQ here, a trip to the cinema there. I don't even expect much in the present front. A fiver from the grandparents, tenner stretching it. A pair of converse from mum n Dad. Chocolates from O... doubt I'll get out from R because there won't be an occasion marking it to be a birthday. V claims she has the perfect present in mind- but how can she if she doesn't spend any time with me any more??? A?? Well I don't know there... Surprise me.

Sweet blimmin Sixteen.

Least I get to go London a few weeks after it. That will be my birthday thing I think, and maybe I'll by myself a birthday present ;-)

M continues to disappoint as he has yet to turn up with this promised CD. Shinedown I think it is... even though I haven't listened to them in months.

There is always excuses.

Then in the middle of it all is poor nana...

She's started to get dates wrong now. She'd forgotten my birthday let alone the fact that she got told last weekend. What's next??

Who I am?

Nana :'(

Well you all know about my nan's fall, how she was in hostpital and stuff. Well she's been getting these halucinations and then she hasn't been eating properly because she finds it hard to swallow. Then there's the falling for no apparent reason.


Well she has been diagnosed.

A degenerative brain dissorder, Dementia really. A type of dementai anyway; Lewey Bodies to be exact. So basically she is just going to deteriate from here on. She might lose her memories, get hallucinations, fall over a hell of a lot more. She may even get to a stage when she doesn't know who I am, let alone who she is.

Dad told me that this might be her last summer...

And they expect me to revise when I know that my nan is deteriating? Dying?

When all I can think is why her?

Why Her?!?!?

Why Her?!?!

Why Her?!?!

Why Her?!?!

Why Her?!?!

I Love You Nana xxxx

Phone troubles

Well, my daddy just rung Orange to ask about my poorly phone.

Theyre sending me a new sim card in the post.

Good news I guess.

Except the fact that I won't have a working phone untill Saturday evening minimum... But at least they can transfer my old number to the new sim and all my credit. Though what about my humongous phone book I have collected?? I do hope I can get that transefered aswell.

It will be a great loss to me if I can't....

Lololololololol, cheesey me or what ;-)

Anyway, I thought I would update you about that.

With Love :-P

xx

Making it up

My phones broken.

Well to be precise it isn't my phone, its my sim card.

Don't really know what is wrong with it, but it's broken.

(N)

I rang A to tell him, in case he felt complied to text me or something.

Not that I expected him to want to, though I thought it would be better to tell him. But when I did he appoligised to me. Said he was sorry and he hadn't meant to snap. So now, everything is better.

I still feel bad though.

He keeps rining me now, updating like. Or we text each other. Rang me three times yesterday he did, and we texted each other way into the night. So we're alright. For that I'm glad.

But forgiveness doesn't erase the past

Fights...

It was me....

Friday night walking home. The something that was upp?

Me

As perr usual I managed to ruin A's and my Friday, it was going so perfectly. And I managed to fuck up; completly, utterly, hopelessly screwed up.

Story of my life.

I made him feel like shit...

How could I do that?

How can I manage to make the one person whom I would do anything for, the one person I would take a bullet for, the one person who I would die for, feel like shit.

I feel horrible.

I don't know what to say to him.

I don't know what to do to make it better.

I really screwed up.

And for something I couldn't even bloomin control. Claustrophobia.

I Panicked! I mean, I couldn't breate... I didn't mean to give him a shity look...

I didn't even realize I had.

But I did.

And now he is looking foward to a week without me.

Whilst I'm dreading it

And to think I thought it was because I had started to get ready to go. I mean, I thought he had gone into his living room. It made sense, he wanted to take me home, why not go and wait downstairs whilst I calmed down.

How terribly wrong I was.

He hadn't even gone downstairs. No idea where he had gone...

M's room?? But then again, I listened by the door. It didn't sound like he was in there, I thought it was M finally getting his turn on the xbox after me and A hogging it.

I can't believe I have made my own boyfriend look forward to a week without me.

A whole week

Whilst I have been walking arround feeling hollow for two days, he has been chatting with V and R and chilling.

God, what a terrible girlfriend I am.

And yet, he doesnt want to break up with me. I admit I thought he was going to... I almost didn't dare to ask him. But I had to know, I needed to hear it, even though I was crying my eyes out whilst I was typing it.

But he said no! He didn't want to!

After all my huge massive fug ups, and my mistakes, and my bad choices, he still wishes to have me as his girlfriend. For that, he is TRULY the wolds best boyfriend ever.

Im banishing myself from all my favourite things.

No more good anything.

Its punishment.

Don't deserve them do I? I might not write on this blog for a while, I think I will stay of the laptop.

It is one of my favourite things after all.

Revision instead.

I'm going to eat only foods I don't like.

No more juice, only water.

Definatly no more puddings, chocolate crisps or sweets.

And I won't enjoy this week or the things we do this week anyway so I can't be happy doing the activities.

A week.

Thats my punishment.

Am I really that bad a person?

Am I really that bad a girfriend?






Obviously




One word...

Yes

Me and the Cutie

Holidays

Well, Im off on holliday tomorrow.

For a week.

I won't get to see A!!!

Cry!

He was upset, or distracted walking home. Kept saying everything was OK.

When it obviously wasn't, I really want to know what was up...

I hope it wasn't me :/

Im in a poetry mood...

Heres one I wrote, well, just :P

The greatest gift

I sit here and realize how strong I've become,

With such confidence I feel that I finally found my May plum,

This feeling is so strong I'm powerful it's meant

To feel like Christmas opening my first present,

The joy that he brings is the most wonderful thing,

It's like a good Summer or the births of the Spring,

I love my beaul King, my thoughts he can lift,

And he LOVES me back, for that's the greatest gift.


To A xxx

Haha, poems (Y)

Phunnyy Phobias

V apparently has a phobia...

Anatidaephobia.

Fear of being watched by a duck.



But my god, there are some funny phobias.
My funny list:

• Ommatophobia- Fear of eyes
• Chirophobia- Fear of hands
• Satanophobia- Fear of Satan
• Xanthophobia- Fear of the color yellow or the word yellow
• Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture
• Phobophobia- Fear of phobias
• Ithyphallophobia- Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis
• Myxophobia- Fear of slime
• Bogyphobia- Fear of bogeys or the bogeyman
• Phalacrophobia- Fear of becoming bald
• Malaxophobia- Fear of love play
• Chrematophobia- Fear of money
• Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8
• Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope

Aniversary Time!

Well, it's our aniversary. Mine and A's.

And I have barley seen him.

How romantic.

I know, I know, I'm being a grudge.

However I do think me and him need to do something, I mean its not everyday that it's your aniversary...

And he is probably going to read this and I've only just realised.... oh well. Hint hint A :P

I supose I did have an amazing night yesterday though... even though I was only with him for a couple of hours... If that.

He gave me THEE most amazing back massage! I was just like... mmmm Im going to fall asleep now *Zzzzz*. Haha, yes. Though my shoulders hurt today.... not to mention my arms.

No more rope swinging for me... (Long Story).

A drew me a picture, me and O pretending to be asleep. It makes me smile everytime I look at it. I made him a collage of pictures of him and me, like our lives entertwined. Of course I didn't really have any pictures of him when he was little, as I didn't know him then... So I had to make do. I also bought him that Assassins Creed book... It was the only thing that was connected to the xbox but not a game that I thought was a good idea.

So yehh..

Im sat here bored because I have nothing to do and no one to talk to...

Though I guess strangely I am sorta talking to myself.

Oh well, everyone always tells me im strange.

Why not act it?

x

Birthdayss!!

Twas A's birthday yesterday



We had fun... at least I think he did...

I got him a picture frame with a picture of me and him. My daddy took it.

I edited it though, smoothed out all the shadows that looked irregular and corrected the lighting.

Daddy was impressed.

I also got him a CD, a box of chocolates and a chocolate cake. He wanted a cake even though he wouldn't admit it.

Though, it's our aniversary soon... and I have no idea what to get. I should have really thought this through huh... like saved some idea's.

Oh well... I'll think of something x

Choirr competitionn!!

Haha yehh I go to choir.

I know dorky right?

But I sorta enjoy it.

Singing in a group.

It helps both your voice, and your confidence.

Anyway, so we were entered into a competition by our teachers, aka Mrs B and Mrs M.

It was the BBC Radio 3 choir of the year competition.

We didn't get chosen though, to go throw to the next round.

However we did get highly commended which basically means we aren't quite out but aren't quite in. You see, after everybody has been auditioned, the judges get together and choose two highly commended people to join the people who got through.

Doubt we will get through though.

I don't mind, and I don't think anyone else does either.

We had a blast just being there.

Omigod it was amazing. There was this pretty damn awsome choir there. It was a Gospel choir right, and they sang a really long song. It was really good though and they had two people at the front doing the sign language for it! Then, when they were walking off they sang a second song... well it was pretty much just Amen but still.

They one their category. And then they stood up in there seats randomly and started to sing 'Oh Happy Days'. It was imense lol.

We sang all the way back home too... that was a fun night.

Scarborough Fair...

Are you going to Scarborough Fair,

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme.

Remember me to one who lives there,

He once was a true love of mine.



Have him make me a cambric shirt

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.

Without no seams, nor fine needle work.

Then he'll be a true love of mine.


Tell him to weave it in a sycamore wood lane.

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Gather it up in a basket of flowers

Then he'll be a true love of mine.


Have him wash it in yonder dry well

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Where water ne'er sprung, nor drop of rain fell.

Then he'll be a true love of mine

Tell him to to find me an acre of land.

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Between the sea foam and over the sand.

Then he'll be a true love of mine

Plow the land with the horn of a lamb.

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Then sow some seeds from north of the dam.

Then he'll be a true love of mine

Have him reap it with a sickle of leather.

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Gather it up in a bunch of heather.

Then he'll be a true love of mine

If he tells me he can't, then I'll reply.

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Let me know, that at least he will try.

Then he'll be a true love of mine

Love imposes impossible tasks.

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Though not more than any heart asks.

And I must know he's true love of mine

When thou has finished thy task.

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Come to me my hand for to ask.

For then you'll be a true love of mine

Have you been to Scarborough Fair?

Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme,

Remember me from one who lives there,

For he once was a true love of mine.


xxxxx

Lyrics that mean something to me at the moment:

They will not forcee us, they will stop degrading us, they will not controll us, we will be victorious!!

Muse- Invincible

The air around me still feels like a cage,
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again.

So if you love me let me go,
And run away before I know,
My heart is just too dark to care,
I can't destroy what isn't there.

Deliver me into my fate,
If I'm alone I cannot hate,
I don't deserve to have you,
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago,
If I can change I hope I never know.

Slipknot-Snuff

It’s never been easy for me
To find words to go along, with a melody
But this time there’s actually something, on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines

Since I’ve met you, my whole life has changed
It’s not just my furniture, you’ve rearranged
I was living in the past, but somehow you’ve brought me back
And I haven’t felt like this since before Frankie said relax

And while I know, based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I’m asking you, is don’t write me off, just yet

For years I’ve been telling myself, the same old story
That I’m happy to live off my so called, former glories
But you’ve given me a reason, to take another chance
Now I need you, despite the fact, that you’ve killed all my plants

And though I know, I’ve already blown more chances
Than anyone should ever get
All I’m asking you, is don’t write me off, just yet
Don’t write me off just yet

Hugh Grant- Music and Lyrics

Forgotten, Forgiven, Remembered...

Well, it just about sums up my past week.

Events forgotten, forgiven. Items forgotten, forgiven.

Feelings remembered, memories remembered. Smiles remembered.

"Ooohhh it's lovely, Cliff isn't it wonderfull!"

Yes, they came.

My Nan and Grandad.

She hadn't seen my new electric piano.

Or heard my new composistion.

So I had no choice to surrender to her optism and horendous obsessant compliments and etc etc.

Other than that it was a pretty allright day. I ate triffle. I ate chocolate biscuits. I ate crisps. I ate a sunday dinner. I ate more triffle. I ate cheese on crackers. I slept. I ate a toffee crisp. I ate the last of the triffle. I ate left over fish and chips from Friday night.

So yeh a good day.

But A didn't come over. He didn't come over yesterday either. I haven't even spoke to him since Friday...

But I did expect this. I guess I should be used to it by now.

It'll pass.

I hope.

I've been dreaming about dancing recently. I really want to learn. Contempory maybe. Or tap. Or both!!! Hehehee.

So any one out there who knows of any dance classes near Congleton Cheshire for beginer's let me know ;)

Exhaustedness...

I don't know why but lately I have been really tired. It feels like I've been dead busy over the last few weeks, I just want to sleep!! Which is good because I don't think I have to do anything all weekend woop!

A's got a load of things he's got to do so I probably won't see him much this next week, which sucks tbh. He also say's he's getting a cold, which I pray to God I don't get. I hate being ill, it's the worst... And with the situation with Billy Eliot and Call back's won't be a very good thing to have.

The moon's really ful tonight... I can just see it out of the corner of my eye. It's quite funny as I keep just looking up at it, losing my train of thought. Then remembering where I am, ya know? Thats how out of it I am. I love clear nights like this. Though, when it's a full moon you can't really see many stars as the light reflected from the moon sorta drowns out the stars. Which also sucks.

I love the stars.

Now look at me, drabbling on about stars lol. I should be thinking about what's happening in the upcoming weeks. It's V's Birthday soon, and then Valentine's Day... and Then A's Birthday! Im going to be broke by the end of this, but oh wells. I've got V's present actually. Im organised like that, except I need some birthday label thingys.

Im going to visit my Nana in hostpital today, it's her birthday today. She's been moved to a different hostpital, the war Memorial.

My other Nana and my Grandad are coming on Sunday, it was my other Nana's birthday yesterday. We aren't doing anything special I don't think.

Thank Gods, I don't feel like going out.

Well, thats it for now folks, tune in next time for another show of Boremyassofwithsomerandomerslife!!

Auditions!!

Finally the auditions for Billy Elliot are over and done with!

I didn't even know the dance routine properly!!! I only got taught it the day before, talk about eek. And even worse, I only got partnered with J at last minuite, and even worserer I hadn't even looked at the script until half an hour before the audition!!!

Talk about unfair :p

Though I think it went allright :D


A came round after school. That was good. I really needed him then. Tell you the truth, I was missing him. Even though I see him at school and what have ya, I still missed him. Is that even possible? To be right next to someone and to miss them?

I guess it is.

His miriacle hugs came at just the right time and I felt soo safe and cosy cuddled up in his arms.

I love him. I mean that. Not just as a word that means so very little to people who don't actually know how to use it.

Its a spend the rest of my life love. Go to the end of the world love. Hurt him, feel my fist love. Stand by no matter what love.

I really really really love him.
Xxx

Abandoned...

No you haven't been abandoned, it's just a lot has happend lately. My nan went into hospital, she's fallen down the stairs. She has broken her wrist (and spent a very, very long time in theatre as it was a bad break) and possibly something in her cheek. Her face is all bruised and scraped, a set back from falling from the top stair, she's sounded confused and maybe even delirious all week. Though when I went to see her today she seemed ok... apart from the bruising and the hard of hearing parts. Been in almost week now.

But before that: around here there has been quite a bit of 'bad weather' which meant that our school was shut for a while- and then the schools heating went down and pipes burst so only the higher school could go in assome parts of the school were flooded and classes needed to be re-located. But teachers acted like we had been off ages and had loads to catch up on so I have been bombarded with work! Then there was the mock results... in which school thought it would be good to pretend it was the real thing. Yawn! Although, it sorta worked- got a few people worked up. I was dissapointed with only one result, my maths. The subject I had most revised for. I got a C...

Oh well...

There only mocks...

Hell Begins

And so the Hell begings again...

• Little people running arround


• Cold air penatrating unreliable thin clothing


• Sitting down listening to voices drone on and on

School time.


The first day back after a blissfull two weeks of none stop lazing... And it had snowed. The ground was covered in a show-stopping layer of slip tastic ice. Snow fell down the thick fog, always managing to find it's way into the crack of shirt at the back of your neck, then melting down your back.

Then the lessons started...

Classrooms too hot, classrooms too cold. Teachers to boring, teachers to enthusiastic and full with optimism. students too snoby or too annoying...

School.